It’s kind of amazing how a little bit of normalcy can make a significant difference in one’s quality of life.
Looking back, I knew the past 3 years were chaotic and frenzied and challenging. I knew it in the moment but also knew the only choice I had was to buckle down and forge ahead. Through multiple moves, through countless cross-country flights, through working remotely, through political upheaval and uncertainty, through living apart from my husband, through anxiety attacks, through moving back in together, through a summer of travel and visitors, forging ahead. Head down, moving forward.
Last summer, amidst temporarily living in Denver for a few months while my husband was in LA for an internship, I went to the doctor for a regular check up. When I asked a question about an abnormality, she asked me, ‘Are you under any more stress than usual?’ I recall responding with, ‘No, not particularly,’ thinking, ‘yeah, life is a little crazy right now but, overall, not really.’ WHAT?!
Looking back at that time, HOLY SHIT was it stressful. It’s astounding to me that I couldn’t fully grasp that in the moment. Our friends and family cheered us on, told us they couldn’t imagine doing what we were doing. I knew what we were doing was unusual and definitely challenging but in that chapter, we did what we had to do and we didn’t think twice about it. But now? Today, I am not quite sure how I managed to do all of the things I did and not lose my marbles.
All of this to say, that now? Now, I really feel good again. I have stopped consuming news 24-7 and have set boundaries as to when and how I check the news. I share a typical weekday schedule with my husband – we work normal hours and come home to each other every night. I wake up next to my husband on the weekend which always feels like the most exciting treat. We make plans to see our friends – for dinners, for beers, for bike rides, for concerts. We also spend a lot of time together, just us. After sharing so much of our time with other people these past few years, it’s really important to us to prioritize time just for us, to reconnect and just do the things that make us happy.
I’ve made it a point to SLOW DOWN after so much HURRY UP. I’m closing my computer in the evenings after work and instead, picking up a book to read or a pencil to doodle. I’m crawling into bed early to sleep 7-8 hours most nights. I’m drinking less beer and more water. I’m prioritizing exercise and have even found a running partner in my husband; running 25-30 minutes with him are treasured minutes of my day. It all seems obvious and easy to make better-suited-for-me choices but clearly, it’s taken me a long time to get here. Better late than never!
All this to say that heading into this Thanksgiving week, I feel grateful and thankful for so much. For all of the past chaos and for the present normal. For the future adventures and future calm. For friends and family who supported us through the hard times. For a husband who believes in me and my aspirations, for a job I love, for compromise and growth. For slowing down.