My heart is heavy, as I’m sure yours is too, and has been much of the year. The hits just keep coming, don’t they? No matter political affiliation, this year has been extra high on the suck factor. Weather events devastating homes and countries, mass shootings devastating lives of so many, sickness ravaging coworkers and coworker’s families, friends and family dealing with personal trials and loss on a smaller but no less impactful scale. It’s far too easy to feel hopeless and really hard to stay hopeful.
I’ve been quiet on this space and social media because frankly, I don’t know the words to say. Nothing feels right. But I’m sad and frustrated and tired of feeling this way. Tired of feeling powerless to this chaos and hurt around me.
Last Monday, I came back to my One Little Word, Inspired. I chose this word because I knew going into 2017, I would feel challenged to remain positive and would need a mantra to remind me to see beauty in the world around me. Admittedly, it’s been super hard to find inspiration or even to keep the word top of mind.
But enough is enough. I’m choosing light and I’m choosing love. And I’m choosing to take care of myself.
I’m donating blood, calling my family to tell them I love them, sending snail mail to brighten a mailbox. I’m smiling and saying hello to colleagues who I don’t know or work closely with, I’m making sure those around me feel included and important. I’m trying to bring light and kindness to people around me because this world needs it and I am able.
I’m also limiting the duration and frequency with which I consume news. I allow myself 20-30 minutes of NPR and New York Times news podcasts in the morning on the bus and 15 minutes of my local NPR station on the way home. I’ve been tuning out of Facebook echo chambers and passionate rants and redirecting that time and energy elsewhere. Small changes to protect my emotional and mental well being; I’m working to stay informed while not letting it consume me, as I have so often in recent months.
I don’t know where we do from here or what happens next but I’m going to make damn sure that while I still can, I share the goodness I know to be true in the world with those around me. Whether I’m granted a few more weeks or (hopefully) few more decades on this Earth, I want to leave a legacy of love and know I did what I could to leave the community around me in a better way than I found it.